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CHARCOAL IRON, ELECTRICITY AND THE DEVIL

Every reader of this piece must have at one point in their frustrating Nigerian existence experienced this- “A day so chaotic that it would seem all the freaking demons in hell have been assigned to torment you”. Factors within and most especially outside your control conspire to disrupt your plans for the day, leaving you dazzed and pitiful.
These demons visited on the 18th of November, 2015

Charcoal Iron
Majority fail to recognize the life saving capacity of the charcoal iron until there’s an important engagement that our clothes must be crisply ironed for and there’s no light. Then truth dawns. But it’s most often a little too late because majority do not have this ancient piece of rusty iron at home.
November 18th i had my project defense and thanks to the inconsiderate department that gave a mere 20 hour notice my attire was not ready. There was no “light” to iron and the generator too weak to support the electric iron. All efforts to lay hold on a charcoal iron were fruitless too, nobody had one. You see the flip side of the nonfunctional Nigeria is that it births creativity in you. Simply put: Nigeria awakes the sleeping hustler in you. You become that man/woman/guy/girl that get things done irrespective. And for me, as soon as the reality of my situation dawned like truth; my creativity kicked in like a backup generator. I’d heard a friend of mine say the previous day that he was still in the school hostel, I called him and he confirmed there was light in his hall. I hurried off to school and in a sheer bust of serendipity- I located a drycleaner. I paid him 50 Naira and he pressed the shit out of my clothes. I was impressed.

Electricity
Power supply in this country is designed in a way to mock you. It appears those guys at PHCN know your plans and are hell bent on ruining them. The light is there, looking at you with a simper when you don’t need it, but when you do- you’ll expect the light like you do a text from your ex boyfriend but it wont come.

The truth is Nigeria, will not fulfill her destiny( to put it in the Nigerian christian parlance) until we get the damn electricity stable. Until we do so, development will continue to elude us like goals do Mikel Obi 🙂

The Devil
The devil is the bad guy nigerians are wont to blame for every woe and shortcomings, both on a personal and national level. We have Nigerians who believe the devil is responsible for our asthmatic electricity, corruption and coterie of dumb leaders. Since the devil hasn’t denied any of this charges, or sued for defamation of character: Nigerians continue to pile more on his plate so the list of what the devil is guilty of is actually an infinite one. Since the list is infinite, attempting to write it out would be illogical. But i believe you have a fair idea of what, what and what is on the list( your guess is as good as mine)

Being a nigerian myself, I considered the devil culpable in the events of November 18th. I was going to hang him in the usual nigerian fashion but then…………….I remembered Obancesanjoor and the idiots before him. How they spent billions of dollars on electricity without getting shit done. I recoiled. The devil is not guilty after all.

PS: We Nigerians need to get our shit together and stop blaming the devil. All the time!

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